I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
