it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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