you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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