Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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