What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
