But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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