But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
