8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
