I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
