How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
