I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I had to cum in my sink.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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