when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I wish you could order shots online.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
