butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
