Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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