i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
