im drinking this country out of the recession.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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