she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize