Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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