Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
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