I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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