we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
