Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
