so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
