dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
