his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
