you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Randomize
