Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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