True but thats because hes a fetus.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Couch. On fire.
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