I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
