break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Even my vagina gasped.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize