I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
