The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm just crazy horny about you
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
