Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
In America we eat man semen.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
what is it with giant penises always finding me
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
