It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
