I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
