Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
one might say we're banned from that church
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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