Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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