Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
love makes seman taste better
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
