we're chasing vodka with high fives
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
