I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
