Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
