Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You were trust falling into bushes
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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