check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Randomize