Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize