He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
