Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
the day after is always just damage control
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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