suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
