Cold hands, warm shart.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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