i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
