please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
These tits shall not be calmed
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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