That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
