Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
