I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize