his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize