I will die if light touches me.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I think people are normalizing furries
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
