haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
