I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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