Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Randomize
