VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
