Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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