I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
