Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
