There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
